8:11am – Posted this on Facebook and tagged my husband:
8:46am – Get a call from said husband. “Did you post the photo? Because my inbox is blowing up with Facebook notifications.”
A huge, flipping deal.
Now that the proverbial cat is out of the bag, I’ll be posting a few of my muses from that weird period of time where we weren’t being very public about the pregnancy but obviously, I still had a lot on my mind. I’m also thinking about doing a series of posts on the hilarious things that Jason has said since we found out. Because, really, they’re great.
I will say this: pregnancy has made me more of a feminist than I knew I could be. Perhaps feminist isn’t the most succinct way of putting it…I mean, there are other words that people might apply to my change in attitude, but I’ll leave that to your imagination. Suffice to say, I am far less willing to put up with people’s bull crap these days. Part of it is that I’ve had to unfortunately learn how much bull crap is out there related to motherhood/pregnancy, and part of it is that I care way less about keeping people happy all the time. Not that I’ve become a raving hormonal mess, lashing out at folks every chance I get. But I have been working on the art of tactfully saying, “Please don’t make comments like that.” Or “Please don’t take this news and run with it because it’s our news, not yours, and not only that but it’s somewhat personal news that doesn’t need to be broadcasted to every friend/cousin/aunt/uncle until we feel we’re ready for that.”
So, be forewarned. As always, none of what I ramble about should be taken as gospel. I’m just a fairly introspective girl woman working her way through an astonishing transition in her life and trying to figure out what it means to be true to myself in the midst of it.
To humor the throngs of people and their questions, I will provide a brief FAQ of the Smithling pregnancy thus far:
- How far along are you?
As of today, I am somewhere in the 15 week range. My due date is November 26, so it’s a possibility that I may be eating Thanksgiving Dinner in a birthing center.
- Are you going to find out what it is?
Yes, we will – July 10 is the ultrasound date. I like surprises just as much as the next person, but I guess I feel like waiting 23 weeks is long enough for the surprise. The idea of waiting until the baby is born sounds far too overwhelming in light of the fact that I’ll be, you know, giving birth.
- Do you have names picked out?
Yes! We have a few names, both male and female.
- How are you feeling?
Currently, I’m feeling really good. The first trimester was miserable, but not unbearable. I had lots of food issues, I was tired ALL THE TIME, and overall it was just weird and uncomfortable. I’m done to almost no food issues (back to drinking coffee!) and my body feels pretty good. I still get tired easily but it’s nothing that a quick nap doesn’t solve.
- Where are you going for prenatal care?
There is a midwives group that functions under the Aurora network here in Milwaukee. So, they’re midwives, but more like hospital midwives. I was seeing them for my OB care before I got pregnant and have only good things to say about my experience. They’re kind, empowering, thorough, and they leave every decision up to me and Jason. No procedures have been “pushed” on us, and everything has been explained in detail. I love it.
- Where are you going to deliver?
Originally, I always hoped to be able to do a home birth. However, I think that for our first go around, we’ve decided that a birthing center is the best route for us. I would really prefer to avoid a hospital birth because I don’t like the feel of hospitals in general. So far, everything seems healthy and I don’t think it will be an issue.
- Are you still running?
Yes, with the full blessing of my midwife. I plan on trying to run until my third trimester.
- Is Jason excited?
Jason is doing what he does best during transitions – he’s figuring stuff out. He’s reading books, asking me questions, and overall is very supportive. He’s not, by any means, glowing or swooning or gushing about “baby”. Which is fine. I would be concerned if he was because that’s not how he is about anything. He does have a very good sense of humor, and we’ve found that taking the situation lightly is good for both of us.
- Are YOU excited?
Well, sure I am. I’m also tired, overwhelmed with all of the things that we need to start getting in order, weirded out by people’s over-the-top-reactions, entertained by the little pre-bump that’s become my stomach, incensed by the way that people feel it’s appropriate to stare at my waistline/touch my stomach/give unsolicited advice/make comments about how “tiny” I still am/etc, etc. Overall, the whole thing has been making me laugh. I haven’t had one of those moments where I just get awed by the “miracle of life” or something like that – I laughed when I saw the positive sign on the pregnancy test. I laughed the first time that I heard the heartbeat. I laughed during the first ultrasound, when I saw the little toot stretching its funny legs in the womb. It’s been hilarious and amazing all at once. I’m not a gushy person, and while I had wondered if pregnancy would change that, it’s really hasn’t. In a way, I’m not feeling any of those sentimental “OHMYLITTLEANGEL!” type feelings because I honestly don’t feel like it’s “my” little angel to coddle over. Sure, it’s mine and Jason’s child, and I like thinking about it growing and starting to respond to noise/touch, but on some level it’s very much out of our hands right now. It’s an exercise in trusting God that if I do the best things that I can do (eating right, sleeping, taking care of my body, etc) that he will keep it healthy and happy and hopefully help us not screw up too much when we become parents. It’s still rad, and I still think pregnancy is ultimately very bad-ass.
That’s about it for now. Stay tuned for more updates here and there. And you know, other stuff that I do, like, uh, writing a book. Because that’s important also.